So, How Many Children Do You Have?

Isn't that a standard question when you meet another mother? So, how do I answer? Well, I have a few choices and all are awkward.


My answers go something like this...
"I have a 3-year-old boy." - Then I feel guilty becuase I have Brianna too.

So, most often I reply... "I have a 14-year-old step-daughter and a 3-year-old boy." But then I feel guilty again...Do I hurt Brianna when I have to put in the phrase step-daughter. As if she's not as important to me?

I rarely say, "I have 2 children...a 14-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy." I don't want to hurt Brianna's mom's feelings.

I've never said that I have three children and that is where most of the guilt comes in. I've never heard anyone include a dead child in their count. Could you imagine how the converstation would go?
-So, how many children do you have?
-Oh, I have three.
-How old are they?
-14, 3, and dead.
then another awkward silence filled with pity.

Until I find a better way to answer (if there is one) I will continue to answer the question "I have a 14-year-old step-daughter and a 3-year-old boy".